COVID-19 and The Life Events It Paused

This time last year I think that many of us would have felt that the events of the past few months could never happen. It would have felt like something from a science fiction novel, a potentially interesting plot but far too unrealisitc to be actually true. Sadly, it is true and as we begin to take our tentative steps back to real life many of us are now relfecting on the things that COVID-19 robbed us of and perhaps some of the blessings that came with the slower pace of life.

One thing that has happened as a reuslt of lockdown and social distacing is the pausing of major milestones in life. In the blink of an eye, those things that we take for granted were gone - weddings, funerals, baptisms, baby namings, communions, confirmations, Bar Mitzvahs, Bat Mitzvahs, graduations, memorial services, the list goes on. With these canellations came great worry, stress, anxiety and pain.

I think it is only when we are prevented from celebrating these milestones in life that we realise just how important they are. They are a phyiscal way to mark things that are eteral and abstract. It allows us to put words and rituals on moments that are charged with emotion and menaing. These events are important, we do them for a reason and perhaps that reason is because deep down inside us we all have a longing to connect and share experiences that have meaning and depth.

As we slowly emerge from this time many people are wondeing if they should just move on, accept that those events have been lost and get on with things. I say no, they are too important to forget about. I encourage eveyone considering otherwise to rearrange the wedding, resechedule the baby naming, replan the party. COVID-19 took a lot from us in the past few months but it does not need to take those extra special events that people had planned for, that give meaning to life and that generate memories that people will cherish for years to come.

Love Letter and Wine Box Ritual

One of the most increasingly popular rituals in wedding ceremonies is called a 'Love Letter and Wine Box Ritual'. In essesnce it is the creation of a romantic time capsule. In the days leading up to the wedding ceremony the couple write love letters to each other and sela them in envelopes.

Then, during the ceremony these letters are placed into wooden box which contains a bottle of your favourite tipple and two glasses. The couple seal or lock the box and make a promise not to open it for 5, 10, 15 or 20 years. A way of enriching this ritual may be to ask parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen to add letters too. It will surely add to the nostalgia in years to come!

What is a Ring Warming Ceremony?

Do you know what a ring ceremony is? It is not as strange as it sounds and it can serve as a fantastic way of including all of your family and friends in your wedding ceremony.

If a couple decide to have a ring warming ceremony as part of their wedding it usually takes place near the beginning. The celebrant will inform the guests that the wedding rings will be passed around to everybody to take in their hands and hold for a moment. As the rings are held the person holding them is asked to make a wish for the newly married couple and then pass them on to the next person. The rings are passed around to all of the guests as the ceremony progresses and then when we come to the part where the rings are exchanged between the couple, the celebrant will ask that they be given to the best man (or woman!) and brought to the top of the room.

The feeling behind this ceremony is that when the rings are presented to the couple they are not only made of precocious metal but that they hold now something altogether more precious - the love, hopes and good wishes of their dearest family and friends. 

There is a practicality to remember here though - if you plan on having a ring warming ceremony it is always a good idea to have the rings ties together using a ribbon or placed on a small cushion. The last thing we want is for them to roll away and fall between the floorboards.

Ring warming ceremonies are not for everbody but I have found that those couples who have used them have found it to be very meaningful.